BIZARRE NEWS FROM THE INTERNET
No Rod Hull Here
New Jersey Police were called into action when an emu was seen running through the streets. Animal control officers caught the errant bird and took it to a shelter. “I’ve seen elephants running down the street. I’ve seen geese, I’ve seen just about everything,” said one officer.
A man was saved by his amply proportioned stomach when it got wedged in a well and stopped him falling down the shaft. The 28-year-old Chinese man got trapped in his family’s well after breaking through wood that had been used to cover it in his hometown of Fuliudian Village in Henan Province. The fire service said he only survived because he was “too fat” to fall down.
Ole, Mobility Scooter
A pensioner caused a severe traffic jam after driving his mobility scooter on a busy Spanish motorway. The 88-year-old was in the fast lane with no lights on, creating a large angry queue. Police were called and had to drive behind the Scooter with their lights on to escort him to the next exit
A pair of trainers worn by basketball legend Michael Jordan in 1985 have sold for $615,000 (£460,000) at an online auction. The Nike Air Jordan 1 High sneakers were described as the “rarest of the rare” by Christies.
Love Shack, Baby Love Shack
A man in Wiltshire who listed a treehouse on Airbnb as a joke has received its first booking. The property, which he had built for his children, was described as “suitable for a romantic getaway or an adventure with the kids”. Speaking of his unexpected booking by a family, he said: “I’m doing home-made pizza and a fry up for them for Sunday breakfast.”
Trump’s Douche Below Par
The US Department for Energy has brought forward changes the rules around showerheads in order to maintain the perfection of Donald Trump’s hair. Officials have published proposals that would allow more water to pass through showerheads, lifting a 1992 regulation restricting the flow to 2.5 gallons per minute. Last month Trump complained about the effects of low water pressure, saying: “My hair – I don’t know about you, but it has to be perfect. Perfect.”
A horror production company in Japan has opened a drive-in haunted house to keep itself afloat during the coronavirus pandemic. Customers bring their own cars and are treated to a simulation of being trapped inside a vehicle being attacked by zombies and ghosts, complete with fake blood. “We cannot remove every drop of blood. It will be clean enough to drive on the road,” warns the website.
Puppy eats savings
A mother couldn’t believe her bad luck when she discovered that her puppy had eaten her savings. Jocelyn Horne said she felt “absolutely gutted” when she realised that her miniature poodle, Peggy, had eaten the £100 she had put aside to save for a rainy day. “I still don’t know whether to laugh or cry – I look at her and I think I bloody love you, but you’ve swallowed £100,”
2 Year Lego Snorting
A Lego brick has fallen out of a boy’s nose two years after it went missing. Seven-year-old Sameer Anwar from New Zealand lost the piece up his nose while playing in 2018. Doctors were unable to retrieve it but last weekend he sneezed and it was dislodged. “It was shock, y’know?” said his father. “And it had a bit of fungus on it.”
Daughter’s Poo Cures Drunkenness
A man who kept feeling drunk even when he hadn’t had any alcohol was cured when his daughter’s faeces was transplanted into his intestine. The man was suffering from gut fermentation, which produces excessive fungal growth in the gut and then fuels ethanol production. The faecal microbiota transplantation has cured the problem.
Stiffs Emerging In Kent
Human remains are appearing on an island just off the Kent coast where visitors have been banned for 200 years. Deadman’s Island was used as a burial ground for convicts who died aboard prison ships from Chatham bound for Australia. Rising sea levels and coastal erosion meant the wooden coffins, skulls and fragments of bones have now become visible on the surface.
A curious website shows you what standard-issue wheely bins look like in different areas of the UK. Designer Harry Trimble has been photographing bins across the country since 2016, with the aim of documenting the nations bins. “When you look at a bin,” he says, “you can see how a council thinks about itself.”
Make Bleach Great Again
50 North Texans drank bleach this month, according to the North Texas Poison Center, blaming “misleading and inaccurate information circulating online about how to prevent the spread of Covid-19,”. In April, Donald Trump suggested the new coronavirus might be treated by injecting disinfectant into the body.
Microscopic aliens drift from planet to planet and could already be here on Earth, according to scientists. The experts claim that the extra-terrestrials journey across the vast expanseof space by grouping in “colonies” thinner than a sheet of paper.
A man in Vietnam has gone almost 80 years without getting a haircut. Nguyen Van Chien, 92, has five-metre long dreadlocks and says they are part of a divine calling. “I believe if I cut my hair I will die,” he told Reuters. “I dare not to change anything, not even combing it.”
Stressed-out elephants at a zoo in Poland are to be given medical marijuana as part of a trial. The three African elephants will be given liquid doses of cannabinoid CBD through their trunks. “Contrary to what some would imagine, the elephants won’t be using cannabis pipes nor will they be getting huge barrels of it,” said the vet in charge of the project.
Cursed Jesus Village
Archaeologists believe they have found a biblical village cursed to destruction by Jesus Christ. After years of controversy, Bethsaida – where Christ is said to have fed the multitude and helped a blind man see – is now believed to be in Et-Tell, a dig site in the Golan Heights.
Tortoise Makes A Dash For It
A 150-pound runaway tortoise is back at home after 74 days on the loose. Solomon the tortoise escaped from his home in Ashland City, Tennessee, on June 8, but finally returned home last week when his owner got a call from a man who said he saw Solomon at a home construction site less than a mile from her house.
Massive Hipster Grub
Giant avocado pears that weigh almost 2kg (4lbs) are hitting supermarket shelves. The huge fruits, known as Avozilla avocados, are nine times heavier than the average avocado. They will set you back £4 when they go on sale at 300 Tesco stores across the country
Head case loses ears.
A man has spent more than £6,000 to have his ears removed so that his head looks like a skull. The 39-year-old from Finsterwalde, Germany, known as ‘Mr Skull Face’ on social media, says his new appearance has boosted his confidence – He now keeps his ear lobes in a jar.
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